3 things on my heart...

1. Realization that my self-esteem is either way too high or way too low... I always think I'm one of the worst singers in my section, but I keep trying to convince myself that I'm just being paranoid and am actually not bad, and then I have a horrible pract and I think I'm super super terrible all over again... lol... =/

2. Joy :) The way God teaches and guides me is so beautiful... I can look back and see 'seasons' in my life, periods that last several months where He was subtly teaching me something. The period when He walked me through the book of Romans was beautiful: things would just happen throughout the period that would remind me of teachings in that book: sermons, stuff in my daily life, picking up the bible to read at night... It was beautiful. And there was a period when He showed me over and over again how I can trust Him no matter how difficult situations are - it was so gentle and subtle and yet so obvious that trusting Him now comes so easily for me. Ok I'm a little sidetracked haha...

But yeah, joy. God's been showing me these days that I can find so much joy even though things around me are hectic, and uncertain. Joy is so deep! It is beyond happiness and hyperness... To me it is like a water that fills my heart. Sure, cares and burdens may be in me, but when I look at the emotions I can smile inwardly because they are all surrounded by the waters. Perhaps it comes from knowing that God is handling everything for me because He loves me, perhaps there doesn't have to be a reason for joy other than it being a lovely gift from God. It's wonderful. The leave-it-to-God life doesn't mean you forget what you care about, it means that you care about things, but with a beautiful, unchanging joy and peace.

3. A beautiful verse: "Then she said, 'Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.'" from Ruth 3:18, NIV :)

Joy and restfulness :)