i feel like a stuffed toy. those stuffed toys that kids talk to when they have no one else to talk to, when they need to cry to or laugh to or de-burden to. those stuffed toys that willingly accept all those kids' burdens and seem to have no burdens of their own.
why huh. i have feelings too u know.
just made a good friend very unhappy with me... cos i accidentally revealed her very good grades to another friend whom i thought already knew her grades.
yes i feel bad... always feel bad about making friends unhappy :(
but... huh? how come grades is such a sensitive issue? it's just a number! how come people are willing to potentially sacrifice friendships, to keep their (very good) GPA a secret?
which is more important huh... GPA or friendships? GPA is just a stupid number :( don't see why such a big deal is being made out of it :(
GPA determines your life? my foot. look at all the successful people today and you'll see many people with lousy academic backgrounds.
GRADES ARE JUST A NUMBER!!! gosh. so many things are more important than that
such a nice thing to neglect work to spend time with friends. it's an assertion that even though work has been absolutely crazy, some things are still more important. :)
goodness, did i just finish almost half the chicken? must... stop... binging...
Look, young man
At your life, and know
That the world with its glories
Shine bright and cold
Stare at the ocean
Or gaze at the moon
Or look to the heavens
And ask for a boon
The people you knew
Neither see nor hear
The blind and the death
For lack fear
Ok giving up on this poem for lack of creative/emotional stamina/reserves ... Never posted an incomplete work on this blog before :) Maybe i'll finish it some day haha
a lot of thoughts running through my head tonight. maybe it's cos the worst week of the term is finally over (the papers and projects went well in general :) thanks to all the mugging khakis and those who gave emotional support heh).
just had a thought... that my teen years are long over and i haven't *done* much. i dunno... have i? sometimes i feel like a slob who sits around the whole day. well it was probably true for my secondary school life, but it's odd that i feel that way now since my brain is telling me that i have done alot. how many people can say they've learnt salsa and tango, backpacked in mountain villages in germany, got medals in international choir competitions, took part in half marathons, trekked up a waterfall...
but somehow, something in me says, that's not me. that's just stuff. that's not real life. maybe it's just my (bad) memory, like i know that those memories will fade so they don't feel like a part of me. could be that... could also be that to me it's the relationships that count; i measure life in love (remember that song?) when it feels like i'm getting detached from friends even if temporarily, it feels like life doesn't hold much meaning.
yes, it's the people. to me it's always about the people. decided i'd show these photos of those who came to my 21st party, cos these are all the friends i had at that point. well at least those who were in singapore and free that day haha... and i've made a whole bunch of great new friends this term too. yeah. love you all. wish it were easier to stay in touch with everyone...
it's funny what memories can do to you - how they can make pains kept inside for so long resurface. just when you thought you were over it, memories make you realise that actually you were just hiding...
i need to remember how perilous it is to go through old photos
i've been intrigued by this girl from one of my classes for some time. she doesn't seem to have friends except possibly this girl who sits 2 seats away from her in class... it's not even because she's unlikeable or unfriendly. she's just... there. someone who stands around and looks around at people, but doesn't talk to them and doesn't get talked to. i should go up and talk to her just to possibly brighten her day or something.
how did she get that way? just so shy that she didn't get started in the making friends scene? something she did that made other girls not like her? intriguing.
