the language barrier and sizzler's

after talking to other interns today, i think the language barrier is not so much that my chinese is lousy, but that i happen to be placed in a department that uses chinese exclusively, including esoteric finance and accounting terms. there are other interns who are doing things involving english, which would be a lot easier for any SMU student...

anyway, on a happier note, we went to sizzler's with some of the other beijing interns!



and i really think i should have ordered the chicken...

China experience: day 13 of 70

thicker names and funny stuff

i've had the chance to look at a lot of names today cos i've been doing a lot of calling... and the english names are really hilarious. there's a lady called Conan (as in conan the barbarian), a really thin lady called Thicker, and someone else called Duckey. really funny. :)

also had a very funny experience today... that callig i'm doing is to get people to sign a declaration of interest form. this includes people from other teams. it may have been my pronounciation or something, but one guy from another team thought i meant that he was being drafted into this team, so he apparently rushed like crazy from the hospital to settle the matter. had a hilarious moment trying to explain to him that yes, you're only here to sign the form and blah blah

:)

China experience: day 12 of 70

one week in beijing...

so the first week has passed and i'm still alive :) i've been trying to upload photos but it's horrendously slow, so i only have a few so far...

ok my first impression on arrival was... WOW. beijing's airport is amazing. imagine singapore's terminal 3, just much, much larger. so large that you need to take a train to the baggage collection.



and the city and people are very nice. the city is sprawling, and in a nice way :) it's very spacious and the architecture is really eye-catching. i came expecting something like manhattan, but it turned out to be a lot more pretty.

the people are very nice too! a lot more courteous than the average singaporean. i mean, people actually give way on trains haha... and i think people are a lot more relaxed. even in the office areas you see people strolling along casually and not rushing everywhere...




candice's dad has been bringing us out for dinner :) we've been frequenting this place that's famous for xiao long baos! super nice lah! they are super juicy and the skin *never* breaks when you pick it up. they even have red bean xiao long bao :):):) and many places have this amazing ice kachang dessert that's super super super tall and covered with red or green beans or grass jelly :D




there's this mall near our place that we explored today... they two important things: groceries, and ice cream. hehe




as for work... work has been extremely "exciting" in that it has ranged from utter, total, mind-numbing boredom (i think they had trouble finding work for me to do since my chinese isn't too good), to having so much work to do that they want me to work OT!

i'm now working with a small team that handles IPOs. have been doing random tasks like printing (lol...), and also helping to correct the english for the report their working on. it's been challenging because beijing residents don't have good english at all, and the chinese language doesn't have some features of english - like different ways of righting the plural and the singular. and this team is really hardworking. apparently they work OT every night till 11-12 all year round... the only reason the manager is ok with me not doing OT is that i'm an intern heh



to end off... two funny things happened to me today :D

first, i learned for the first time in my life that whole saba is served without the fish being gutted. it was an utterly gross experience. i was so stunned that candice thought something was wrong with me.



second, it was really dim at the swimming pool so i mistook a little tunisian girl for candice while i was relaxing in the corner, and waved at her. apparently i gave her a fright. so when i finally found candice (who was happily splashing me with water), that girl said something like "i can do better!" and suddenly splashed a tsunami in my face.

so my day more or less ended with a little tunisian girl making it rain on my face, and candice laughing in the corner...

and did i mention that the swimming pool is gorgeous?



okie that's all folks :)

China experience: day 7 of 70

on corporations

today after work I was thinking that it takes a certain personality to make someone do well in a corporation. he either has to be extremely driven by career success (to rise to the top), or extreme thick-skinned (to endure being at the bottom). i realize to not much personal surprise that i am neither! haha...

anyway, after 3 days of utter boredom, my situation has suddenly turned 180 degrees. i'm now in a team that is SO busy that i had to "explain" to my manager why i couldn't work OT tonight. and apparently that team works OT till 11-12midnight, every night! very scary stuff.

i plan to tell the manager that i won't stay OT at all because i don't want the money and because i think employees should not be penalized for the company's inability to hire sufficient employees. shall see how that explaining goes.

no, no, no, i definitely do not intend to work till 12 midnight every night for 2.5 months. seriously.

okie that's all! :) and yes i WILL upload photos soon haha

China experience: day 5 of 70

in beijing!

Day 2 of my China experience!

Ok first impression was "wow". Everything here is spacious and artistic, from the huge and beautiful airport, to the widely-spaced and very creative architecture in the city. It's really very pretty. It's like there's alot of nature and breathing space, and at the same time pretty sights and interesting places. Something like the direct opposite of my impression of Manhattan :)

My first 2 hours at EY have been an eye-opener for me because I've never worked in a corporation, much less a Chinese corporation.

There were a total of 5 interns starting work today. 2 from Beijing, 1 from Hong Kong and 2 from Singapore (guess who!). After a cute little introduction session they brought us to our individual departments and gave us like stationery bags, laptops, lockers, etc. I'm working in a different place from the other interns but it's not too bad cos the managers here are very, very nice.

Oh and some things about corporate offices surprised me... they have lockers! haha so interesting! And all the rank-and-file workers sit in long rows on the office floor, mainly staring at their computer screens. Interesting... I expected more friendly chatter. I mean, how come people don't even talk to the person their facing? haha...

And yes the language barrier is making things... "interesting". :) I told my manager that I can't speak or write Chinese well, so apparently their still deciding what work to give me haha! I suspect I'll end up doing something mathematical (like tallying figures up), or be asked to deal with english-speaking clients.

Okie that's all for now! I'm still a bit worried about what the work will be like, but it's almost totally mitigated by the fact that the managers and nice and approachable. Photos another time :)

Beijing experience: day 2 of 70.

i remember...

a friend told me recently that there's really no reason to feel sad about old friends that i've lost contact with, because it's the friends who are with you right now that really matter. true stuff.

even though i only had 4 days in singapore before starting on the internship, i only met with two friends. kinda decided that i would spend the last day packing and enjoying time with myself in my room. :)

ok back to packing...

on following my heart and where i am now

And there they were: some of the people who have meant the most to me during the course of my little life, and I was walking away from them.

As I turned to say goodbye to my mom, sisters, nephew and niece, something told me to just stop, to drop everything and forget the rush for a moment, to take a picture of the scene: those four precious people at the end of a dim, tan-coloured corridor, watching me with unreadable expressions as I walked away after leaving the apartment.

I probably won't see any of them for 3 months, at least.

Suddenly my world seems a little less bright. There are now a few less people to share its joys, sorrows, loves, and despairs with; it matters less that there are golden lights on the sky and shimmers on the waves because there are a few less people here to enjoy them with me.

Yes, people have always meant the world to me; money, fame, or power have never, ever, come close to ruling my life as relationships have, and throughout this life I have made major decisions using my heart - an organ soft and often-irrational, but also ruled by a certain surety in what I know I want.

I was following my heart when I made my choice of secondary school ten years ago; I was following my heart when I began chasing my Physics dream four years ago; and I was following my heart when I diverted my attention to Accontancy two years ago.

But nevertheless, there I was: turning my back on those precious loved ones to pursue an internship that has worried me for so long. How did I, of all the heart-driven people in the world, end up here?

Perhaps in choosing Accountancy I placed myself in a world I did not fit into - a world where happiness is defined by profits and long hours, a world in which time for loved ones is easily sidelined for a profitable career. At best this world is populated by people who simply love the corporate workplace, at worst it is populated by people who do have forgotten the meaning of relationship. I feel like a little sailboat caught in a storm. I can steer my course with all my heart and soul, making every rudder-movement and sail-pull count, but the current and the winds mean that my heart and soul act in vain.

So here I am. A corridor where every step I inevitably take leads me away from where my heart resides, a place where walls close in on me and the light is too dim for the comfort of predictability. No, with the emphatic voice of one quoting wisdom, I will not die where my heart does not lie.

So, yes, I am here, but before I close I think I shall add: that I am doing something about it. And while this may not be a wind of change, I do remember what they said about the butterfly's wings.

- wrote most of the on the plane on the way home from the states... :)

flying off...

so i'll be in the US on 2-14 May to see my sisters, then in China on 18 May - 25 July for internship...

3 months away from home is a long time. i normally like travelling because it's always great to see new places with friends or family, but I also have a history of not enjoying myself at all in new workplaces. I really hope I don't spend the 10 weeks in China counting down the days till I leave.

Oh well, we'll see :)

hello once again + me as an INFJ

hello various people who still read my blog (even though i haven't posted in a while)... realized i don't know who reads this haha... i seem to have friends reading my blog from like malaysia, canada, etc, but i can't think of any friends who are in some of those countries... quite interesting :) maybe i need like one of those shoutboxes where people can say hi...

anyway, decided to write here more to keep in touch with my various (thus far invisible) friends :)

so i've been thinking about my MBTI personality type recently. INFJ. supposed to be a rare breed (like 1% of americans!). it's very uncanny how every single description of the INFJ type describes me to extreme precision. i've recently joined and INFJ group on facebook, and it's very cool how so many people there have experiences that mirror my own to the dot.

i think one major trait of INFJ people is that we feel we are very deep people, because we deal with the world almost 100% internally. We draw energy from within, understand the world based on internal intuition and impression, and prefer to make decisions with consideration of people's emotions as opposed to pure logic. it's a very interesting combination because we end up as people who love to be alone or in a quiet place, but at the same time need to have our emotional needs fulfilled.

this is why so many INFJs (like me!) prefer a small group of really close friends as opposed to many many many acquaintances.

yeah :) so sam = emotional recluse.... heh...

:)

solo saxophone

been digging up old songs from my music folder recently (now that i've installed itunes heh)...

there's just something about music. it stirs up all kinds of emotions and dreams - it's as if it transports you to a whole different time or world or life. it stirs in you old memories and forgotten dreams, it gives you courage to do the craziest things. something about music goes to the heart of everything that makes us living, breathing, dreaming, loving beings.

castles in the air. :)

Fly High Wind of Change

Fly high

Fly high

Fly high wind of change in
The halls of remembrance and cry, defy
The laws of the heavens, now surge, surge
High like a dove in the winds of the waters, find mine

Mine

Mine in the land of my heart o’er valley of
Darkness, darkness, now walk
And rise like the tide or the fear
In the land of diamonds, find

Sigh, a death

Your own in the valley, a wind
In his halls, no longer
Remembrance, fly

High

Fly high

Fly high wind of change

past stories

always love looking back at my old stories and poems. makes me feel happy. ideas have not been flowing readily recently... probably because i rely on very strong emotions as the impetus for works... well...

inexpressible

if only emotions could write down in words
the flutter of wings of the lifeless bird

an analysis of pirates 1

so i view certain movies very differently from most people. like iam one of those nerds who see the Matrix as the deepest movie in the world, who actually identifies with each of the characters in American Beauty, and etc.

and guess what? i actually see the pirates series as a huge chain of agreements and how these agreements are created, kept, or broken :) of course i really enjoyed the hilarious acting + fight scenes too! but this is just another way of seeing a movie.

so let's start with pirates 1 :)

scene
searching for a new crew

agreements
crew members: join jack sparrow
jack: gives them the crew members the ship

fulfilled?
yes! this is why the crew members decided to leave jack behind on the treasure islabnd - cos they own the ship now. it's only at the end of the movie that the crew gives the ship back to jack after he escapes the noose.


scene
barbossa and will

agreement
barbosa: let elizabeth and the crew go free
will: won't kill himself in return

fulfilled?
partially. elizabeth and jack are "freed" by being marooned on an island. the rest of the crew aren't freed tho.


scene
after jack and elizabeth are rescued by the english

agreement
commodore person: help save will
elizabeth: marry the commodore

fulfilled?
no. elizabeth doesn't marry the commodore in this movie.


scene
jack and the english

agreement
jack: to bring the undead pirates out for the english to kill
commodore: spares jack's life

fulfilled?
yes! jack brought them out, the english just had no idea that they would be attacked...


scene
before the final fight

agreement
barbossa: don't kill will now, attack the english first, and own 2 ships
jack: life is spared but have to pay barbossa 25% of his plunder

fulfilled?
no, because jack kills barbossa. even though he comes to life in pirates 3, the death arguably nullifies the agreement.


conclusion
all the agreements made are fulfilled except for elizabeth having to marry the commodore. if i remember correctly this problem is dealt with in pirates 3 :)

yo ho!

new thing a-learn!

just learned something about web programming that's quite simple but deceptively so especially with all the newfangled tools out there: that coding simply is better than coding "complexly"

:)

it really is

everywhere you look you see love. there's so much magic to remember... i'm suddenly remember the time i would sit alone in the corner of the flat concrete roof of my army camp at night gazing at stars, and pick up the phone to call a friend. and the times (twice i think) i would walk to the busstop from VJ with my heart a-flutter because so-and-so was walking in the same group. and the time it occurred very suddenly to me that i really did make some great friends in the army. and the fact that i've cried with friends before.

magic in the air. i remember a monkey once told me that our lives are like korean dramas, we just don't see it from the audience's viewpoint. how true...

love, actually, is all around us

two scenes in that movie rank among the most heart-wrenching i've ever seen. one is everyone's anti-favourite: the one where the best man had to reveal to the bride that he loved her all along...

and the other is the scene where the big boss' wife had found out that her husband was cheating on her. she's in the bedroom, sadness well-hidden, and she doesn't know what to do, like it's a huge shock to her. "both sides now" plays in the background, and she walks around as if still very rattled, dabs her eyes with the tissue and starts to arrange the bed... and then she stares silently at their bed and you can imagine all the thoughts running through her mind: has he slept with her? how did he get seduced? should i confront him? and then she bites down all the emotions and sadness because she has to face her happy family again... after all, it's Christmas.

Going Home

Dear friend, do you dream?
Take my hand,

It is a white glove. The kind worn
by faces on a dark stage: the kind
that holds canes and chairs and tall dark hats;
the kind you see with covered faces saying

Yes, why would I?
In this land of all places, why wear

A toothless, sightless grin. A mask
made by the end of life itself; a lifeless
face that speaks of unnatural times and dreadful
places like

Here?
We are nowhere,

then

Let us go somewhere.

A wind-battered, rain-soaked hilltop. A robe
in shreds and torn by spears of water; the uncontrollable
night that like screeching bats
sweep and stare and echoes in your

Soul... so you begin to guess?
move closer, and see

Shapes: one holding the robe to its place
in the rain; its stoicity is
like a pillar the shape of a man
draped in the wind

Itself, what can you tell?
Open your eyes and see

The wind sweeps back and forth and around
the figure, like the grasps of
a drowning man; through the piercing water
the wind flings the cloak open and

You see?
There is nothing, dear friend. It's just

Home.

another quote from her...

"if you ask me what's 1 plus 2, i'll be like, 'what?'. i'll ask you to count yourself."

quote from her...

"do i look weird?"