home alone: cooking dinner!

ok lesson 2: how i made tonight's dinner! ok so i stocked my fridge FULL of vegetables a few days ago and decided i'd cook something nice out of it tonight. a veggie meat dish and a veggie egg dish :D

1. rolled pants up. i'm a VERY messy cook.


2. ingredients prepared! i like to soak mushrooms in hot water for a long time so the mushroom smell isn't too strong :D deboned and sliced raw chicken thighs marinaded in soya sauce, sugar, vinegar, sesame oil and ginger powder... and a LOT of chopped onion for the stir-fry :D and that's bell peppers and spring onion :)


3. egg dish! easy! and healthy too... 5 egg whites, 1 egg yolk ^_^

turning it over chunk by chunk...


4. now the stir-fry. fried a whole lot of tiny chopped-up onion and garlic till the lot smells good, and i added some spring onion a mushroom at this point to get the flavour in the oil :) again, a healthy dish! lots of veg and olive oil!

next i put the chicken and bell peppers over the oil. some notion that the flavour will enter the chicken and peppers or something :D

whee!


5. final product!

and

home alone: building a cabinet!

ok today's lesson: how to build a cabinet you plan to use to store old books in your attic!

first, clean the place up! vacuum and wipe the dirt and dust away and do a good hard mop of the area :)


start building!



after some hard work and a few mistakes and frustration and etc, done!


:)

dreaming a future

perhaps one important thing i've been learning is that i can't live someone's life for that person.

we each have our own ideas of right and wrong, our own ideals and rules we live by, and our own relationships... each person is unique :) and because we are unique, many pieces of advice or ideals that work in a person's life my not work for another person.

we also each have our own dreams. dreams we either choose to chase or let die. individual dreams that are as varied as the flowers in a field. and this is the beauty of true friendship, relationships, and marriage:

that for a time, two people choose to dream a future, together.

meanwhile, i guess i'm content in this very big and empty house. content knowing that at least i'm chasing my own dreams, and for once content to simply watch as the friends around me live out their unique lives.

:)

best tango video i've seen

2.5 small stuff

1. really have something against people who twist ideals to justify their actions, and don't see that they're doing so. it's not a matter of whether their actions are right or wrong, it's the way their heads seem screwed on backwards: it's almost "my decision must be correct, so i'll make sure my ideals are twisted to justify them". but well... *shrug*

2. spent a LOT of money on furniture! love investing in my home :) 3 cabinets for storage upstairs and a coffee table for my own room. lovely :) in the process of installing everything, shall post pictures soon!

2.5. oh and i did well this term :) by my standards anyway :) given how relaxed i was haha

HUGS TO EVERYONE

(btw i've not been checking my mail much these days so sorry if i don't reply you)

no matter the situation

spent some time last sunday just sitting on a little stone stool by the fountain at suntec's sky garden, staring at the sun setting over the skyline, reading a new book and writing in my journal.

it's always nice to retreat into my little heart where it's less confusing and more quiet. :) i may be changing, things around me may be uncertain, but i know i can always retreat into myself and simply rest while talking to god.

i've learned a few things the hard way recently, and one of the biggest lessons is that security and peace is always there, no matter the situation.

*peaceful smile*

cute pictures!

The Bear himself in some of his usual spots!




Let's just say my new glasses turned out pretty... odd.


:D


Just bought this jigsaw! Converting a portion of my room into a jigsaw area!

... man overboard...

... just remember to tie a weight... yeah, that's tight enought.

even more random pics!

hey i've not *just* been muggin k? a man must eat...


yes, i like my school stuff as colourful as possible.


cutest cookie ever!


my glorious new squash racket. bright frame with even brighter grips. the 4-15 scorelines are history


VJ class gathering just a few hours ago!

Amazing Speech: I have a Dream

me:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

chefs playing monopoly!

awesome LTB group reunion at my place! wish i had taken photos!

again i tried to improve on my hainanese chicken rice, and again something went wrong. rice had way not enough salt this time grrrr

and had the most crazy monopoly game i've ever played.
the bank auctioned property worth $600 and someone paid $10k for it because someone purposely raised the bid...
someone accidentally mixed his money with the guy beside him and they decided to form a merger...
lots and lots of alliances and agreements...
and the same guy who got conned into paying $10k tried to play the raising-bid trick on someone else, and ended up having to pay $9k for a property worth $2k... lol!

yeah fun times. should have taken photos sigh

happy to be an introvert

after some soul-searching about my character, i've finally found something today.

that after the craziness and rara-ness of this term (on my part), when it comes down to it, i'm still an introvert inside... and very happy to be one.

happy to retreat within myself and find solace, happy to hide from the world when i need to, and still be able to be crazy when i want to, and a close friend to the important people in my life.

it's nice

Education in Singapore

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

This is something that educators in Singapore have not quite grasped. Singaporeans, like most Asians, tend to be goal-oriented and tend to take the easiest possible path. Educationally this translates into students who merely memorize for the sake of the exam even if they do not understand the concepts, and teachers who teach methods and rules instead of concepts and reasons.

This isn't a bad thing in itself, if success is premised on exam results and mere memory power, but it is not. Certain ideas in business and accounting must be understood first because these principles can be derived after understanding the underlying concepts. Why does understanding lead to success? Because real-world problems are not going arrive in standard exam format, nor will they be framed in your teacher's or professor's style. Real world problems depend on understanding and applying, not memorizing. This is also the reason why Physics is extremely unpopular in Singapore. When teached from an exam-oriented viewpoint, Physics is degraded from a subject the simplest conceptual framework possible, into a subject that has students memorize endless lists of formulae.

So this leaves only one reason that students take the exam-oriented studying route: the education system. I think many people would agree that it is a given that our Primary and Secondary and to a large extent, Junior College systems are exam-oriented (I am speaking about the GCE system here, I know nothing about the IB system), but I have discovered that the same problem appears in our tertiary institutes. In my institute in particular, the framework for a truly conceptual and stimulating education is avalailable to professors and students, but things are slowly shifting to the "memorize for exam" route, and meanwhile SMU students have locked themselves in a prisoner's dilemma in studying effort.

In the end it is about change. Smelling the educational roses along the road is not something Singaporeans are used to doing, but there is a general push in that direction, with the oblgatory counter-pushes and eddies. The change is slow, but the country is changing nevertheless.

He said, "Go and tell this people:
"Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.'" - Isaiah 6:9

the last day of the term!

been an interesting day!

1. discovered that people who actually need to use 2 answer booklets for the biz law exam exist. goodness.

2. broke my glasses for the gazillionth time! this time it was while wiping perspiration on the threadmill. yeah. don't ask.

3. attempted to drive in the rain without glasses. key word being 'attempted'. lol!

4. have 2 new nicknames. sttmjr and BGP

5. gossipped about people who beat round the bush and girls' crushes and attached people and ex- and non-ex- boyfriends! i really feel like a BGP LOL

pooey got so much stuff i wanna blog on but guess that has to be all for now :D

Summer Fling

Wrote this for a friend over MSN. We were talking about her picking up a summer fling at a bar... comments from her below haha

Summer Fling

It was a quiet night in a quiet bar. John had just been lamenting the emergence of a solitary mole at the tip of his nose. It was, in fact, what led him to a quiet drink in a quiet pub at the edge of town.

"Perhaps," he thought, "the alcohol can drown the mole. I think moles drown in alcohol. Or maybe they don't..." The bartender peered at him quizzically, and john realised had been talking out loud.

At that very moment, the door of the bar creaked open slowly. He could make out a figure in the doorway, silhouetted by the lights of the night. The figure was a woman, holding what looked like a club.

"Good gawd, i'm drinking too much," he thought.

The silhouette figure walked slowly into the bar. She looked like a predator sniffing for prey, eyes darting to and fro, with the focus of a lion searching for his food. A flash of headlights poured in through the window and caught on her face, and John gasped.

"She... she... she has a mole... Just... like... mine..."

The tears welled up in john's eyes, but by that time the Woman with the Mole had reached the John's stool.

John was trembling both in fear and in awe, because while he had finally found someone with a mole as big as his, this person he found was holding what looked like a club surprisingly close to his face. John wondered if she was going to murder him, or squish his mole.

Suddenly, without warning, his face was flooded with the brightest light he had ever seen. Bright sparks of torchlight pierced into his eyeballs as the woman gripped him with fingers of steel.

"You. I'm checking for moles." Her voice was unnervingly sweet.

"Wh..What?"

"You heard me. I want my summer fling to have a mole... and wait a minute..."

The Woman with the Mole pulled John closer, much closer, and suddenly peered straight into his nostrils.

"No nose hair. Good. A sign of fertility. Come. You meet the requirements. Got mole. No nose hair. Faster fling with me."

John was speechless and didn't have time to resist before the woman suddenly grabbed his hands.

"Did your mummy tell you? People with moles normally have sweaty palms. I want to make sure you have no sweaty palms. I'm scared of sweaty palms. Are you scared of sweaty palms? I'm scared of sweaty palms."

By this time John was fearing his life. This woman was obviously insane, but suddenly an idea crystallized in John's mind. In the darkness his free hand reached for the glass of vodka and tipped it over so some spilled on his hand. My move, he thought.

John leaned close to this woman, close enough that his lips nearly touched her ear.

He whispered, "You're gorgeous. I hear that people with moles make good flings. Sure, let's fling together."

His free hand was creeping up to the woman's face in a way that would make her believe that he was about to, perhaps, stroke her face, or her hair.

"Yes, my man, let's fling togeth-"

Suddenly John's free hand pressed fully onto the woman's face, smearing it completely with vodka, surprising her completely. The woman shrieked and jumped away.

"Sorry darling, I forgot to tell you that my palms are sweaty, and my sweat smells like vodka."

He offered her the glass, "want some?"

- the end -

comments over MSN:
(name removed) says:
(I WANT SHOULDER LENGTH WAVY HAIR, WITH STREAKS OF GOLD )
...
(save this convo k. upload to ur blog...i can forsee it'd make it big next time )
...
(SHINE THE TORCH UP HIS NOSE I WANT TO CHECK FOR LONG NOSE HAIR )
...
(if it's too long, CUT )
...
(CHECK PALMS CANNOT HAVE SWEATY PALMS )
...
eeeks. vodka. i hate vodka
....
sounds...suspicious
...
please have good ending k
...
HOW CAN U SIDE THE GUY


:)

ga-ga

you know how you just *know* when sparks are flying between two people?

it's not about them spending all the time together. it's the silent knowing between them, it's how when you say hi to one of them it is a muted reply because there is now someone more in the picture, and there is a hint of defiance because they expect scandals to start forming around them, and yet deep in them you see joy.

it's nice how people don't make fun of couples who are serious. so far i don't see the usual immature fools go ga-ga over the new scandal and start making fun of them 24/7...

teach me to love

memories are capricious things.

when you thought they've passed, when you thought you've moved on and forgotten them, they may unexpectedly pop up to remind you, or to make you miss, or to make life at present seem a little less bright... and yet we all know that life would be a little less than what it is now without those memories

it's taken me some time to learn that i don't let go easily at all. i remember that period when friends around me all seemed to be moving on while i was still trailing in the dust (ok i can imagine some of you cringing at the memory of the super sad blog posts lol).

but sam, what are you holding on to? the person, or the memory of the person? people change and you've found out that you do too. perhaps the next thing to learn is that embracing people means embracing not just who they are, but who they will be.

faith, hope, love. hope is an expectation of something different to come. faith is an increased strength in that expectation of something different. both faith and hope have to do with time and with change... but love does not.

love is love. love is now, love is present. love is there regardless of time, regardless of change. love never fails because it does not care if a person changes, and it is not conditional. love is simply love. it is there.

teach me to love.

predicament

ok can't decide if i should go for the very first argentine tango lesson for 2 hours tmrw, or spend the time studying for exams which start this monday.

decisions... decisions.

realised something odd.

realised that most people i know in smu want to either become an investment banker, or a desk-bound accountant in an accounting firm...

what?

1. investment banking - no, i'm not going to throw away my free time, sleep time, friends time, youth, just to make a pile of money. there are some things money can't buy, period. health is one of those things, friends are another, sanity is too. work myself crazy for a decade and retire at 30? if you think ten years of doing literally nothing but making money, is better than having time for friends and family, then go ahead into IB.

2. desk-bond jobs! - ok i know some people like jobs like this... but i can't imagine facing the 3 walls of a cubicle for the rest of my life. by the first 24 hours of the job i'll probably scream, run out of the firm, go home and give the first friend i meet a good long hug. haha... no offence to people who like being desk-bound tho. i know people who like the familiarity and constancy of such a job.

okie that's all... wow it's 2am here. can't wait till exams are finally over.

to my old friends :)

happened to be looking through my old photos...


this was our... first prayer party? second? really miss all of you. we must have our "annual gathering" this christmas again :) at least one-third of you look quite different now heh. gosh. lots of memories in photos like this...


ok mini-tribute to 2 of my closest friends. my dear adhoc! met you two in VJ choir, knew you 2 as faces in a crowd, we failed to get into exco and got 'dumped' into adhoc instead, and life has never been the same :)

just remembering all the times we helped each other when we had problems, the times we went to the beach and just sat there singing songs as i awkwardly strummed my guitar...

i think it was in VJ that we faced major changes in our lives, and it's great how we were nicely placed there to help each other through. it was amazing how God in the end got the 3 of us in the same university and the same church :) wonderful stuff.

thanks for everything. there may have been times when we seem to drift apart a bit, but for the past five years, i know that you two have been there, through the ups and downs, happys and sads, smiles and frowns, tears and joys... and that means a lot. :)

unchanging sam?

ok so the term is more-or-less over... didn't take many pictures this term but shall post a few :)

probably the best project group in the world!


a view from one of the corridors at school...


the sight in front of my eyes everytime i drive to school :)


he's cuter than me!


hmmm ok the other nice pics i've already posted...

but yeah shall miss this term. it was great, made many new friends... even though the workload was absolutely mad.

i realise i've gotten used to being around friends. it feels weird to drive home on my own nowadays... and i can't seem to study when i'm alone. well i guess it's probably a good thing :) a good change from my hermit phase... yup even the unchanging sam has changed...

those stuffed toys

i feel like a stuffed toy. those stuffed toys that kids talk to when they have no one else to talk to, when they need to cry to or laugh to or de-burden to. those stuffed toys that willingly accept all those kids' burdens and seem to have no burdens of their own.

why huh. i have feelings too u know.

GPA IS JUST A NUMBER

just made a good friend very unhappy with me... cos i accidentally revealed her very good grades to another friend whom i thought already knew her grades.

yes i feel bad... always feel bad about making friends unhappy :(

but... huh? how come grades is such a sensitive issue? it's just a number! how come people are willing to potentially sacrifice friendships, to keep their (very good) GPA a secret?

which is more important huh... GPA or friendships? GPA is just a stupid number :( don't see why such a big deal is being made out of it :(

GPA determines your life? my foot. look at all the successful people today and you'll see many people with lousy academic backgrounds.

GRADES ARE JUST A NUMBER!!! gosh. so many things are more important than that

some things are still more important

such a nice thing to neglect work to spend time with friends. it's an assertion that even though work has been absolutely crazy, some things are still more important. :)

goodness, did i just finish almost half the chicken? must... stop... binging...

The People You Knew (incomplete!)

Look, young man
At your life, and know
That the world with its glories
Shine bright and cold

Stare at the ocean
Or gaze at the moon
Or look to the heavens
And ask for a boon

The people you knew
Neither see nor hear
The blind and the death
For lack fear

Ok giving up on this poem for lack of creative/emotional stamina/reserves ... Never posted an incomplete work on this blog before :) Maybe i'll finish it some day haha

my friends

a lot of thoughts running through my head tonight. maybe it's cos the worst week of the term is finally over (the papers and projects went well in general :) thanks to all the mugging khakis and those who gave emotional support heh).



just had a thought... that my teen years are long over and i haven't *done* much. i dunno... have i? sometimes i feel like a slob who sits around the whole day. well it was probably true for my secondary school life, but it's odd that i feel that way now since my brain is telling me that i have done alot. how many people can say they've learnt salsa and tango, backpacked in mountain villages in germany, got medals in international choir competitions, took part in half marathons, trekked up a waterfall...



but somehow, something in me says, that's not me. that's just stuff. that's not real life. maybe it's just my (bad) memory, like i know that those memories will fade so they don't feel like a part of me. could be that... could also be that to me it's the relationships that count; i measure life in love (remember that song?) when it feels like i'm getting detached from friends even if temporarily, it feels like life doesn't hold much meaning.



yes, it's the people. to me it's always about the people. decided i'd show these photos of those who came to my 21st party, cos these are all the friends i had at that point. well at least those who were in singapore and free that day haha... and i've made a whole bunch of great new friends this term too. yeah. love you all. wish it were easier to stay in touch with everyone...

perilous memories

it's funny what memories can do to you - how they can make pains kept inside for so long resurface. just when you thought you were over it, memories make you realise that actually you were just hiding...

i need to remember how perilous it is to go through old photos

intrigued by her

i've been intrigued by this girl from one of my classes for some time. she doesn't seem to have friends except possibly this girl who sits 2 seats away from her in class... it's not even because she's unlikeable or unfriendly. she's just... there. someone who stands around and looks around at people, but doesn't talk to them and doesn't get talked to. i should go up and talk to her just to possibly brighten her day or something.

how did she get that way? just so shy that she didn't get started in the making friends scene? something she did that made other girls not like her? intriguing.

the "just let me be myself" feeling

started the day not wanting to meet anyone, wanting to hide from the world, and getting ridiculed by a friend. bleah.

The Memory of Things Past

There is a man on the hill in the light of the moon
His name is The Memory of Things Past.
His eyes shine like dancing lights on the surface of the deepest pool
You know him, friend
See his silhouette form.
Love him, dearest
Gaze.
Now the billowing shadow of his pathwork cloak snuffs out the moonlight glow
For a moment all you know is the dark

Memory's is a silent knowing, an inward sigh
A cloud that surrounds, crushes, pulses, clenches; a living fist that grips your heart with the strength of steel and tugs
Silently, persistently, gently
It persuades me but I do not think
It guides me but I am not free
It leads me but I am not led
Rip the curtain aside like a gloating murderer unveils his victim
Shine again comforting, forgiving, bright light, a shadow of the golden

Peace, reprieve, rest, but
Move, friend, move,
He stands on the highest point.
You once knew him;
Memory does not forget
The Man on a hill in the light is moving
Closer, friend

There is a story before your time of a friendship forged
On trust, love, bonds of memory and hope
Of two who would give anything for their love
Which would last forever past, forever future

The face of Memory betrays no emotion; it is a resolute gaze into the depths of the night
His eyes draw from the darkness around, like a child who receives uncountable presents,
Like a black whirlpool that pulls, pulls, and finally destroys
Friend! He moves...
Like a burdened soul the man is still on his hill, seated

Look down, friend, look beyond what you see;
See how far those who flee will fall
It is a cliff.
Memory's silhouette grasps the rubber tires
And pushes.

staring

I know... and yet, I don't...

Ever had the experience where there was something glaringly obvious staring at you, but you act as if you can't see it, or you tell youself it can't be true?

"It's time to face the truth." - those words played on my laptop speakers at the exact time I wrote the above paragraph.

Something's up, I think. :)

i'll rest and watch

zing after u told me that on msn i felt so frustrated cos i still didn't know what to do... but right that moment pprince said on the sermon cd: "all things are working together for my good.".

thanks for giving me that advice zing. made me see things as they are. i won't try... i'll rest and watch things fall into place.

friends aren't just there to make you happy... sometimes they help you put things into perspective, and it isn't always a pleasant thing. thanks.

floating along...

hmmm... keep getting the feeling that there has to be something more, something looming beyond what I have now. perhaps it's an anticipation, maybe a longing, or a forewarning, or... something. but there has to be something more - some new development about to arrive, something big. i'm not sure what it is.

i trust my instincts alot - i'm so used to seeing the big picture that i like to think that patterns and combinations of events i see around me sometimes give me a subconscious knowledge of where a situation is heading. i'm not sure if this instinct can be trusted fully now, but it doesn't matter.

i think i'm heading towards some big but possibly gradual changes. don't know what, but i'll just rest and float along.

just resting...

Ever had the feeling of anticipation, where you can see hints of something big appraoching? Of seeing too many coincidences for it all to be chance, so while a part of you is saying that it's an idle hope, there's also a part of you that's anticipating the very nice thing coming into your life that is slowly being uncovered?

I'll just rest...

CG outing! super full!

i'm so glad i joined the new crea cell group in smu! such a nice bunch of people... :)

steamboat dinner! and supper! i was so super full lah... and they were eating prawns like it was a personal mission to eradicate the restaurant's prawn supplies...





hmmm was going to say something about how one of my wishes for this year has been fulfilled, but i can't find the paper i wrote those wishes on so i shall leave it to another time heh

to treasure those that stay

So much has happened recently, and many of them are not-too-happy things... But like so many situations, it's really the people that matter, not the situation itself :)

Thank you, to those few of you who've been sharing with me and who've listened to my sharing... Things don't seem all smooth sailing in our lives now, but when things slowly settle, I'll remember that you were there for me, and I'll smile knowing that I was there for you (or tried to be :D )

Reminds me of something I told a friend online:

"Everyone kicks people out of their lives from time to time, but those that stay in our lives, they are from God, treasure them."

Treasure them. Love that phrase. I treasure you people, I really do. :)

Waiting On This Dream

Wake me from this dream my friend
Starlit roses changing hands
But I don't think my heart would ever mend

She sings to me a lullaby
As in my heart I wave goodbye
I don't think that I could ever fly

Wasted days and wasted nights
Time to set the wrong things right
They tell me I can do it by my might

Secret councils in my ear
Secret whispers in my fears
Tell me Love that you will always hear

Life to life there is still time
Tell me walking is still fine
Waiting on this dream is no crime

Life to life there is still time
Tell me walking is still fine
Waiting on this dream is no crime

(First time I've composed a song with the tune in mind. :) )

when things fall into place...

finally, the end of a crazy week. it's such a nice thought, that this week is going to end with a caregroup meeting :)

yeah, alot has been happening. not all pleasant, not all stress-free, but it's nice because things are being resolved. it's like a small arc of the story of my life is in the process of being tied neatly up. like i'm finally going to where i'm supposed to be - at peace, at rest.

i'll right down the thought that was in my mind while driving just now:

things are falling into place :)

Pics from LTB community service thingie!

ok for those who don't know - we have a module called leadership and team building that's supposed to like teach team dynamics and leadership stuffs by throwing you into random groups and making u come up with a pretty big-scale community service project on your own - like find your own sponsorship for funds, find your own beneficiary etc etc... supposed to teach you conflict management too, which is why my group's TA was kinda unhappy to see that our group was completely conflict-free hahaha :D some pictures!





lots more stuff has been going on this week. really really packed week. shall update more soon :)

when miracles are in your face - how can you not believe?

spent 11+ hours at a hospital today, cos my friend's cousin was in ICU for a cyst, a tumour, and complications due to the tumour. we went to visit her today... and it was so, so sad. a beautiful little girl lying unconscious with a ventilator in her mouth, a drip through her nose, huge bandages on her head, and needles poking everywhere :(

to cut a long story short, after an emergency operation, the doctors gave up and told us to wait for a miracle. an ICU counsellor later told us that she would not make it through tonight. that was around 3pm. later on we were told that the brain pressure was an indicator of improvement; a pressure of 20 units was safe. the girl's brain pressure was 50ish, and it was at 50ish the whole day, moving up and down by only 1 unit at a time.

through it all, the family was really distraught, and it didn't help that certain family members were praying very persistently and very loudly and very fearfully... a huge contrast to the restful, trusting-God attitude jac KT and i adopted... or tried to adopt. it was difficult for me because i thought gosh, i have no idea how to be confident of a miracle because it seemed like there was no hope! but as has happened many times in my life, God showed me that no matter how impossible the situation, i can trust Him.

at 6+pm a leader from new crea came to the ward. she led us to take the holy communion and started talking to the girl. telling her gently how much she is loved by God, how God has paid for her wholeness. and the moment she finished, BAM!!

the brain pressure suddenly dropped by no less than 6 units.

the leader kept on talking to the girl about God and His love, and the pressure just kept dropping! clearly it was God's hand because there had been no significant change in the pressure the whole day.

by the time we left (which was at midnight), the brain pressure had dropped from a high 40s / low 50s, to a very stable 26-28. if that's not a miracle, i don't know what is.

the little girl is still unconscious and in ICU, but we are trusting God for a full recovery, where none seemed possible. if He can make miracles, like this pressure issue, to happen, He can make her completely whole.

Thanks, God :)

More Pictures!

looks like a normal fridge?

look again!


Sophia looking cool!


Sophia getting her feet wet at the beach!







she looks thirsty...


the cousin, the sister, and the respective babies


Xenbar! Sigh... sad that i have to cut down on training for studies :(

about the people

just had a thought, that what makes things hard for me sometimes is that for me, it's always about the people; not the thing itself, but the people

well i wouldn't have it any other way *shrug*

cavies and i

hm. was thinking. i think i've been wanting cavies (guinea pigs duh) so much because i like to take care of things. like being responsible for that cute little animal.

hm. shall try to convince my mom that cavies are not THAT smelly... >.<

that old feeling...

just had that old feeling again...

the feeling that i want some stability once more, the feeling that i've had enough of change.

time to forget it all and rest in something unchanging.

Help Me Let Go

Help me let go, even though I'm still the same.
Help me forget, even when I see your flame.
Help me release, even though my heart's in pain.
Help me let go, even though I'm still the same.

What would you do for someone you love?

Would you do something you don't like, for the person?
Would you not do something you want to?
Would you sacrifice your personal time to be with the person?
Would you burn yourself out for him or her?

Would you die for the person you love?
Would you?

Some Things are Hard to Forget

A mournful song lingers in the wind as memories gone and things lost come slowly back to the stone chambers of the old man's heart.

Shiver, night, in his cold embrace.

That glimmer in the lake, like the sparkle of a lover's eyes that melt to thickly welling pools of deepest regret, dances like the tragedy of his past:

Child's arrow, poisoned tongue, mingle pain, haunting stare.

A dare, for once the world was his stage; the day was a comedy of laughing fools and the night a deep romance. He clutches his breast as the tears wrench free from his weary heart.

Some things are hard to forget.

Who needs countdowns?

Who needs countdowns? I don't know a better way to pass the year than to spend the last moments of 2006 talking to one of the best friends I've ever had, and resolving one of the most biggest issues I've had to face this year... Thank you. :)

Well it's been a full year. Full of major changes and feelings and events. It's so amazing to see the big picture of things because I see so clearly how God works in my life. A long period around 2004 and 2005 was spent teaching me how to trust Him: problem after seemingly unsolvable problem would come, and every single time each problem would resolve itself entirely on its own. Gradually I saw how true it was the God makes everything work out for my good :) It made me start 2006 with an attitude that I had no reason to worry, that I could have complete confidence in my maker.

It was this confidence that tided me through the huge changes that happened last year. I mean, my future was completely turned upside down and up and around :) And this confidence has made me a better person I think: someone more secure, secure not in myself but in the One who's looking after me; someone more restful and at peace, because problems will come, but none of them are too big for my Daddy to handle.

It was so appropriate that the last service I attended in 2006 was on restfulness. It's so instinctive for us to want to see results from what we do. But really, the life of a Christian is about trusting and resting. You think David killed Goliath with his own strenth? Or that we are saved, equitted of wrongs, because of some paltry good deeds we do? It has never been about us or what we do.

So, 2006 has been amazing. So full of beautiful things! Beautiful times with friends, beautiful images in my mind. It was so full of hopefulness and anticipation and emotions... amazing :)

So 2006 ended resolving something with a dear old friend, and 2007 started with me spending a lot of time with my new baby niece :) She's so adorable! The way she stares at you and smiles and the way she makes those baby noises that make you wanna hug her and look after her for the rest of your life :)

Isn't parenting an amazing thing? Suddenly you have this *life* that you are to take care of. There's a whole future in your arms, and, at least when the future is a baby, she's just very happy to be taken care of entirely. Seeing my new niece and all the new babies in the extended family has got me thinking about what kind of family life I want to have, but that's another story for another time lol

So! 2007 is here! What kind of year will it be? I don't know, but I know this: that I want to be like that baby - resting in my Father's arms, knowing that everything works out for my good...

And that those 3 wishes will be answered! hee!

My Beautiful Niece!

Picture of my niece Sophia! Esther and Lujing just arrived in sg tonight :) Did I ever mention how much I love babies? They just make you forget ALL your little troubles and wanna go play with / cuddle / hug / carry them :D


Us! Together again!


Sophia on a little mattress


The grandfather and his granddaughter


Strolling about!





She's so gorgeous!! Gosh when you hold a little baby in your arms, suddenly nothing else matters.

:)

21st Birthday Party Pictures!

Hey all! Pictures of my 21st Birthday Party are here!!

It's quite late now so I'll leave my comments on the photos for later hehe

Goodnight, world.

Btw, if you brought your own camera to the party and have some nice photos feel free to send to me ya? :)

A Questionnaire!

From chr's blog:

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Rio Grande River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray (heck. ate it as well)
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a radio show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head (no choice, right?!)
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Some comments!
#38 I always feel content about my life :) Even when I go through rough times, I always feel that I would never have my life any other way :)
#49 I can't remember if it was midnight, but it was definitely late. Still one of the most memorable moments of my life. 23july *hugs adhoc*
#68 I'm really happy that this is true :)
#110 I *think* I've broken a few people's hearts... :(

Anyways, I see lists like these as less of "see how happening you are!" (even though people with almost all bolded really ARE quite happening), and more of "interesting maybe quirky things that some people do" hehe...

21st Birthday Party!

Some photos from the party! Enjoy!

Thanks for an awesome party, guys. It was really great :)

And Merry Christmas to everyone!

"really don't know love at all..."

what life feels like right now...

life's been full of... things. amazing, wonderful things - new things, new experiences, new friends, new challenges. the magic of the stage and the beauty of dance, excitement over new possibilities, weeks packed full with amazing and sometimes not-so-amazing times.

after the performance, after the craziness has passed, right now life actually feels like a song :) ever heard the "Glasow Love Theme" from the Love Actually soundtrack? it conjures up feelings to me -

feelings of... seeing life from a large point of view, like an ocean. where events are not simply points, but merge together to form a big picture. where i'm able to look back and see clearly what has really mattered to me throughout this time. it's like a man sitting on a beach feeling the waves lapping at his legs and seeing the sunset beautifully past the horizon, the day after a huge thunderstorm. the being able to look back and smile at what has happened, and yet feeling a reservation, because you know that it's not the things that really matter.

see the man watching the little precious sailboat ride the waves of life as the winds lead it away from the beach - the beach where the man sits with tears in his eyes: tears that can come only when you know that you've found what really matters, and have lost it.

i don't want to be that man

Salsa here we come!