hello once again + me as an INFJ

hello various people who still read my blog (even though i haven't posted in a while)... realized i don't know who reads this haha... i seem to have friends reading my blog from like malaysia, canada, etc, but i can't think of any friends who are in some of those countries... quite interesting :) maybe i need like one of those shoutboxes where people can say hi...

anyway, decided to write here more to keep in touch with my various (thus far invisible) friends :)

so i've been thinking about my MBTI personality type recently. INFJ. supposed to be a rare breed (like 1% of americans!). it's very uncanny how every single description of the INFJ type describes me to extreme precision. i've recently joined and INFJ group on facebook, and it's very cool how so many people there have experiences that mirror my own to the dot.

i think one major trait of INFJ people is that we feel we are very deep people, because we deal with the world almost 100% internally. We draw energy from within, understand the world based on internal intuition and impression, and prefer to make decisions with consideration of people's emotions as opposed to pure logic. it's a very interesting combination because we end up as people who love to be alone or in a quiet place, but at the same time need to have our emotional needs fulfilled.

this is why so many INFJs (like me!) prefer a small group of really close friends as opposed to many many many acquaintances.

yeah :) so sam = emotional recluse.... heh...

:)

solo saxophone

been digging up old songs from my music folder recently (now that i've installed itunes heh)...

there's just something about music. it stirs up all kinds of emotions and dreams - it's as if it transports you to a whole different time or world or life. it stirs in you old memories and forgotten dreams, it gives you courage to do the craziest things. something about music goes to the heart of everything that makes us living, breathing, dreaming, loving beings.

castles in the air. :)

Fly High Wind of Change

Fly high

Fly high

Fly high wind of change in
The halls of remembrance and cry, defy
The laws of the heavens, now surge, surge
High like a dove in the winds of the waters, find mine

Mine

Mine in the land of my heart o’er valley of
Darkness, darkness, now walk
And rise like the tide or the fear
In the land of diamonds, find

Sigh, a death

Your own in the valley, a wind
In his halls, no longer
Remembrance, fly

High

Fly high

Fly high wind of change

past stories

always love looking back at my old stories and poems. makes me feel happy. ideas have not been flowing readily recently... probably because i rely on very strong emotions as the impetus for works... well...

inexpressible

if only emotions could write down in words
the flutter of wings of the lifeless bird

an analysis of pirates 1

so i view certain movies very differently from most people. like iam one of those nerds who see the Matrix as the deepest movie in the world, who actually identifies with each of the characters in American Beauty, and etc.

and guess what? i actually see the pirates series as a huge chain of agreements and how these agreements are created, kept, or broken :) of course i really enjoyed the hilarious acting + fight scenes too! but this is just another way of seeing a movie.

so let's start with pirates 1 :)

scene
searching for a new crew

agreements
crew members: join jack sparrow
jack: gives them the crew members the ship

fulfilled?
yes! this is why the crew members decided to leave jack behind on the treasure islabnd - cos they own the ship now. it's only at the end of the movie that the crew gives the ship back to jack after he escapes the noose.


scene
barbossa and will

agreement
barbosa: let elizabeth and the crew go free
will: won't kill himself in return

fulfilled?
partially. elizabeth and jack are "freed" by being marooned on an island. the rest of the crew aren't freed tho.


scene
after jack and elizabeth are rescued by the english

agreement
commodore person: help save will
elizabeth: marry the commodore

fulfilled?
no. elizabeth doesn't marry the commodore in this movie.


scene
jack and the english

agreement
jack: to bring the undead pirates out for the english to kill
commodore: spares jack's life

fulfilled?
yes! jack brought them out, the english just had no idea that they would be attacked...


scene
before the final fight

agreement
barbossa: don't kill will now, attack the english first, and own 2 ships
jack: life is spared but have to pay barbossa 25% of his plunder

fulfilled?
no, because jack kills barbossa. even though he comes to life in pirates 3, the death arguably nullifies the agreement.


conclusion
all the agreements made are fulfilled except for elizabeth having to marry the commodore. if i remember correctly this problem is dealt with in pirates 3 :)

yo ho!

new thing a-learn!

just learned something about web programming that's quite simple but deceptively so especially with all the newfangled tools out there: that coding simply is better than coding "complexly"

:)

it really is

everywhere you look you see love. there's so much magic to remember... i'm suddenly remember the time i would sit alone in the corner of the flat concrete roof of my army camp at night gazing at stars, and pick up the phone to call a friend. and the times (twice i think) i would walk to the busstop from VJ with my heart a-flutter because so-and-so was walking in the same group. and the time it occurred very suddenly to me that i really did make some great friends in the army. and the fact that i've cried with friends before.

magic in the air. i remember a monkey once told me that our lives are like korean dramas, we just don't see it from the audience's viewpoint. how true...

love, actually, is all around us

two scenes in that movie rank among the most heart-wrenching i've ever seen. one is everyone's anti-favourite: the one where the best man had to reveal to the bride that he loved her all along...

and the other is the scene where the big boss' wife had found out that her husband was cheating on her. she's in the bedroom, sadness well-hidden, and she doesn't know what to do, like it's a huge shock to her. "both sides now" plays in the background, and she walks around as if still very rattled, dabs her eyes with the tissue and starts to arrange the bed... and then she stares silently at their bed and you can imagine all the thoughts running through her mind: has he slept with her? how did he get seduced? should i confront him? and then she bites down all the emotions and sadness because she has to face her happy family again... after all, it's Christmas.

Going Home

Dear friend, do you dream?
Take my hand,

It is a white glove. The kind worn
by faces on a dark stage: the kind
that holds canes and chairs and tall dark hats;
the kind you see with covered faces saying

Yes, why would I?
In this land of all places, why wear

A toothless, sightless grin. A mask
made by the end of life itself; a lifeless
face that speaks of unnatural times and dreadful
places like

Here?
We are nowhere,

then

Let us go somewhere.

A wind-battered, rain-soaked hilltop. A robe
in shreds and torn by spears of water; the uncontrollable
night that like screeching bats
sweep and stare and echoes in your

Soul... so you begin to guess?
move closer, and see

Shapes: one holding the robe to its place
in the rain; its stoicity is
like a pillar the shape of a man
draped in the wind

Itself, what can you tell?
Open your eyes and see

The wind sweeps back and forth and around
the figure, like the grasps of
a drowning man; through the piercing water
the wind flings the cloak open and

You see?
There is nothing, dear friend. It's just

Home.

another quote from her...

"if you ask me what's 1 plus 2, i'll be like, 'what?'. i'll ask you to count yourself."

quote from her...

"do i look weird?"

Our Journals!!

so candice and i designed a range of journals :) they have been printed and are up for sale at tecman! 68 copies sold in 2 days, not bad at all :) they're copyrighted under dainty and burpy designs :)





random photo of candice while we were studying at tecman :D


more updates to come!

should be sleeping...

spend some time reading friends' blogs, and came across a pretty sad entry about a breakup. i guess i should be happy that a couple that i knew was doomed to fail breaks up earlier rather than later, but... well... i always feel sad when i hear about breakups. it's like, something they thought would last, didn't.

anyway, high time for me to sleep. goodnight.

random going-ons

ok random captionless photos cos i uploaded all these to candice and my website and i dunno how to preview them when i look for the URLs heh...



went for latin ballroom audition yesterday! was fun! and i love latin dance because there's so much attitude to it. it's as flashy as salsa but the mood is much more exotic.



of course i still prefer tango... but have had SO little time to go for practicas and milongas :(



in other news, been spending alot of time at american club (where candice goes gym-ing). it's my new fave place to study. and did i mention that i LOVE the toilets? i mean, gosh, i don't feel like coming out after i'm done in the cubicles...



had an interesting experience today. was doing some big business in a toilet and i heard a cleaner aunty curse and YELL something about "people pang sai and SO SMELLY!"



and i've decided something... that i WILL try to improve my memory... by always trying to recall stuff :)



*falls asleep*

who am i?

who am i? who am i if circumstances keep making me change? i've already come all the way here; how come the roads branch and fork and dance at the horizon? can't i be who the world wants me to be, and still be who i know myself to be?

who are we other than the person we know ourselves to be?
who stares back at you from within the mirror?
who is that person called by your name in the past?
will you be yourself in the future?
will you remember who you are now?

~

randoming

just re-watched the video i made for my dad's birthday... didn't like the first part on hindsight, but there were some flashes of brilliance that made me go "wow... i'm good at this".

isn't it nice? to think that you are good at something? too often we try so hard to be humble that we forget that we can do some things well, and that people appreciate that.

other stuff...

just had went for an archery mini-competition for beginners :) was really really close to getting 2nd place, but my hand somehow slipped at the last arrow and it went way too low. ah well.

oh and the journals are about to be sent for printing :) *high fives candice*

my little life

just re-read my previous post... "my little life"... i think that's a nice way to call my life. :)

today and stuff happening

today was interesting. went to tecman today to discuss candice and my designs for the journals (gonna get them printed soon, in huge huge batches!), and happened to arrive exactly when the staff had caught a thief and were waiting for the police.

i think all hope of escape must have died in his mind when he saw my dad and i (both pretty big guys) arrive to stand at the doorway of the shop where he was being detained by one of our rather fierce-looking male staff member. i mean, if he tries to run, all i have to do i push him hard to the floor and when my dad and i sit on him that's the end.

that, and had my second latin ballroom lesson for the term! which wasn't very interesting given that they're teaching moves i've learnt before...

other than that, a lot of stuff happening and coming up.
1. i've joined the school salsa team (VERY taxing training)
2. will likely try out, at least, for the latin ballroom team
3. am considering joining the archery club (cos i've been going for a beginners' course and the archers seem impressed with me heh)
4. will likely join a sub-committee for the upcoming latin fest, a latin dance festival, smu is organizing.

yeah, events are swirling around and people, both nice and not-so-nice, are coming into my little life.

i instinctively don't like uncertainty, which may be the reason why i've been feeling disoriented and even worried about the future, these days. but i guess... i'll hold on to the belief that things always do work out well.

*slightly-tired smile*

memories

memories are devious things... they pop out of nowhere and put your emotions in a spin.